1. Acceptance: Receiving another person willingly and unconditionally especially when the other’s behavior has been imperfect. Being willing to continue loving another in spite of offenses or differences. (Romans 15:7). “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.”
2. Admonition: Constructive guidance in what to avoid; to warn; gentle and friendly reproof. (1 Thessalonians 5:14) “We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”
3. Affection: Expressing care and closeness through physical touch. Saying “I love you.” (Romans 16:16) “Greet one another with a holy kiss . . .” (Mark 10:16) “And they were bringing children to him so that He might touch them . . . And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them.”
4. Appreciation: Expressing gratefulness through thanks, praise or commendation. Recognizing effort or accomplishment. (Colossians 3:15b) “. . . and be thankful . . .” (1 Corinthians 11:2) “Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions just as I delivered them to you.”
5. Approval (Blessing): Expressed commendation; to have or express a favorable opinion of; think and speak well of; building up or affirming another; affirming the fact and importance of a relationship. (Ephesians 4:29) “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”
6. Attention: Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking thought of another; entering another’s world. (1 Corinthians 12:25) “. . . so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another . . .”
7. Comfort: Responding to a hurting person with words, feelings, and touch; to hurt with and for another’s grief or pain; to give consolation with tenderness. (Romans 12:15b) “. . . and mourn with those who mourn . . .” (Matthew 5:4) “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.”
8. Encouragement: Urging another to persist and persevere toward a goal; stimulating toward love and good deeds. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another . . .” (Hebrews 10:24,25) “And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds . . . encouraging one another . . .”
9. Instruction: Modeling, equipping and training in how to live. (2 Timothy 3:16) “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, reproof, correction and training in righteousness.”
10. Respect: Valuing and regarding another highly; treating another as important; honoring another; conveying great worth. (Romans 12:10b) “Give preference to one another in honor . . .”
11. Security (Peace): Harmony in relationships; freedom from fear or threat of harm. (Romans 12:16, 18) “Be of the same mind toward one another . . . If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
12. Support: Coming alongside and gently helping with a problem or struggle; providing appropriate assistance; to help carry a load. (Galatians 6:2) “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”
Adapted from, Top Ten Relational Needs, Dr. David Ferguson, Intimate Life Ministries
Real Results
from Real Couples
“We have been happily married now for nine and a half years and I love my husband more than my words could ever express . . . .”
“The results of this session were not fleeting; it is months after our counseling session with Karl and our marriage remains transformed. . . .”
“God has not just revived our marriage; He has truly revolutionized it! We are more intimate in every aspect of our lives—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. . . .”
“I’m telling you that this is the conference you that need to go to. This is the time—this is your time—and this is the time where God wants to bring restoration to your marriage and set you on a path forward to a healthy, healthy marriage. . . .”
“We are no longer getting a divorce on November 13, and we have been spending much more time together as a family. This program has changed our life. We want to become better spouses, parents, friends, and better people because of it. This program and education, knowledge, and tools is what many churches are missing. . . .”
“God has truly touched our hearts through His grace and power and through Karl’s concentrated counseling. I am so blessed that the love of my life stuck it out with me through difficult times. . . .”
“From the very first session, God used Karl to show me my fault in my marriage. I knew I had an anger and control problem, but I didn’t realize how learning God’s principles for living could help me overcome those problems. . . . In a matter of weeks, my wife started to come to counseling with me and we began to work together to repair our marriage. . . .”