Hans and I had been married for about two years and we were not experiencing a good marriage. I felt none of that “in love” feeling that we as women desire to feel. Hans and I fought all of the time and I felt that none of my needs were being met. In the beginning I pleaded with Hans to go to counseling with me, but he refused. We tried time and time again to repair the marriage on our own but it always ended up much worse. In the end there was verbal abuse, physical abuse, and an affair. I felt there would never be love in our home again and I ended up leaving the marriage.
Hans began counseling with Karl and he asked if I would come. I first refused, and then after some time I went only to be able to tell others that I had tried. I began to see drastic changes in Hans and his entire character and I was a little curious. Karl began to teach Hans and I what God’s Word had to say about marriage and the roles of a husband and wife. He also showed me that marriage was God’s design from the very beginning and that God wanted our marriage to be full of love and desire for one another.
I am honored to say Hans and I have been happily married now for nine and a half years and I love my husband more than my words could ever express. God has blessed us with three beautiful children and a forth on the way. Our life is a beautiful picture of God’s power and what he can do if we will only let Him. Hans and I tried to do it on our own and failed. God’s Word says: Plans fail for lack of counsel (Proverbs 15:22). God used Karl in a mighty way in a way where it seemed all hope was gone. Remember God raised a dead man to life, that same God has the power to resurrect any dead marriage and make it a beautiful one.
Marriage takes continual work!
When Star and I first met we were “In Love”—at least we thought we were. Very quickly after we got married and after the “Honeymoon Stage” of marriage Star and I started to have some problems. Star and I both had church backgrounds but were struggling with actually living out what we knew was right. We went to Church on Sunday, but usually with a hangover! Needless to say, we were straddling the fence. God didn’t let us stay in that condition. He allowed our marriage to get worse and worse. I had a control and an anger problem. Not a good combination!! When things got out of control, I became angry and abused Star verbally and sometimes even physically.
I knew my anger was a problem, and I always admitted it to Star. After abusing her, I would sincerely beg for her forgiveness and tell her I would never do it again. That cycle repeated several times. I would do good for a couple weeks, or maybe even months, but my anger would always eventually boil out of control. I tried hard to change. Real hard. I even prayed that God would help me change. Our entire family and church family was praying for us. But the problem wasn’t going away, and eventually Star asked me to leave. Before I knew it, she was filing for a divorce.
I moved in with my parents and life was not good. To date, I have yet to experience a struggle like I did during our separation. My parents told me that I could stay at their house only if I went to see a counselor. I didn’t like that too much. But now I did not have much of a choice. I didn’t have any other place to stay. Star had begged me to go to counseling before, but I thought I could fix our marriage by myself. Since I didn’t want to be homeless, I made an appointment with Karl Elkins.
From the very first session, God used Karl to show me my fault in my marriage. I knew I had an anger and control problem, but I didn’t realize how learning God’s principles for living could help me overcome those problems. Karl quickly showed me biblical principles that led me to a closer relationship with God, and to winning my wife back! In a matter of weeks, Star started to come to counseling with me and we began to work together to repair our marriage.
It has been six years since we got back together, and we are more in love now than ever. We have three beautiful children and Star is pregnant with our fourth. We have to continually work at our marriage, and we both know that with God’s help we can get through anything. Like every sports team needs a coach to motivate, to encourage, and to steer in the right direction, my team (my family) needed a counselor. I thank God for placing Karl in our lives to be that person.