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| In This Issue • Marriage Tip 8: Receive and Give Attention • Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ • Other Upcoming Opportunities |
| Marriage Tip 8:
Receive and Give Attention The need for attention is met by conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking thought of another; and entering another’s world. 1 Cor. 12:25 “so that there may be no division the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.” Count the many ways God meets our need for attention. God gives us individual, undivided, and unlimited attention when we pray. He knows our thoughts (Ps. 139:2), counts the number of hairs on our head (Lu. 12:7), knew us in our mother’s womb (Ps. 139:13), and promises to provide for our every need (Matt. 6:25ff). Attention is the first need you have to meet in order to meet any of the others. You cannot give someone a hug, unless you first “enter their world” (attention). You cannot give encouragement or appreciation unless you first “enter their world.” You cannot think of your interests only: you must consider your partner’s interests also (vacation ideas, how to spend money, TV or movie programs to watch, where to eat, etc.). Give individual, undivided attention. Jesus did not just spend time with the masses, but gave individual attention to Zaccheus, Nicodemus, the Samaritan woman, and the disciples. Intimacy doesn’t just happen; you must plan for it. Plan times to be alone, without kids or interruptions from phone calls, emails, texts, or TV. When you ask about their day, listen as if you really care and without a “get to the point” attitude. Don’t interrupt your partner; ask questions about their topic to encourage them to talk. Focus more on their words than on crafting your response. Plan a weekly staff meeting so that all the important things gets talked about at least once a week. Plan a weekly date night to have something to look forward to doing together. Learn to respond emotionally (Rom 12:15). If they are happy, rejoice with them (“I’m happy for you . . . glad you had that wonderful experience”). If they are sad, mourn with them (“I’m really sorry that happened to you . . . Sorry you had a bad day”). Enter your partner’s world, cheerfully. Don’t just try to get them to enter your world, enter their world! Jesus left His world (heaven) and entered ours. He left a realm of comfort, security, and enjoyment to enter our world so that we could know Him and have a relationship with Him. Entering your partner’s world often means leaving your own—even when it is not comfortable, secure or enjoyable. But it’s worth it when you experience the joy that comes from being a blessing to your partner. Include your partner in your world. Whether it’s golf, walking, TV, or whatever, invite them to be a part. Some wives might not enjoy golf, but might enjoy riding in the golf cart if they could have enjoyable time with their mate. How have you given and received attention? |
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| About Karl Elkins Karl Elkins, LPC, ThM, MA, CSC, BCPCC, DAPA has 25 years of counseling experience and is an Adjunct Instructor at College of Biblical Studies teaching Marriage and Family courses. He is Founder and President of Christway Counseling Center P.C. specializing in marriage and family counseling. He earned a Master’s degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and a Master’s degree in Counseling from Colorado Christian University. He was formerly on staff with Intimate Life Ministries and director of a Houston Minirth-Meier New Life Clinic. He is married to Terry Elkins and has two grown children. |
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| Other Upcoming Opportunities Two-Day Marriage Clinic™ The fastest way to marriage harmony! A two-day clinic to learn and experience the 25 Core Relational Life Skills. More Info » Individual Counseling We offer individual counseling to couples desiring an introductory session or two, follow-up sessions, or focused counseling. More Info » Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group Ongoing accountability group helps you internalize the good practices you’ve learned, avoid returning to bad habits, and develop new marriage-building skills. Next meeting is on April 1. More Info » FREE Marriage Builder Series Don’t just tie the knot, but tighten the knot as you strengthen abilities to incorporate relevant and practical biblical principles in these couples’ group classes. Child care included. First Tuesday of every month (6:30-8:00pm). More Info » Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com  |
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