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| In This Issue • Marriage Tip 15: Discern the Need of the Moment • FREE Marriage Builder Series • Other Upcoming Opportunities |
| Marriage Tip 15:
Discern the Need of the Moment from What People Say In a previous e-newsletter, we identified “The Top 12 Needs” behind most relational conflict. All you really have to do to upset your partner is lovingly meet the wrong need! If we are to love well and connect with others, we must become skilled at discerning people’s needs from what they say. How skilled are you at discerning the actual needs of others’ by listening to what they say? Try your hand at this exercise. For each of the concerns or questions below that you have heard someone voice, what might be the needs of the moment? Read the phrase below and select which need might most be applicable: 1. Acceptance 2. Admonition 3. Affection 4. Appreciation 5. Approval 6. Attention 7. Comfort 8. Encouragement 9. Instruction 10. Respect 11. Security 12. Support a. “We never seem to have time to talk.” b. “Stop telling me how to drive.” c. “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” d. “You could at least say thank you?” e. “Would you please put your dishes in the dishwater, not the sink?” f. “Don’t I do anything right?” g. “I just feel numb toward you?” h. “You are late again!” i. “Could you at least call if you are going to be late?” j. “I am afraid of your anger.” k. “I wish you would please tell me what is going on inside?” l. “I’ve really had a bad day.” m. “If you are going to make plans that involve me, please talk to me first.” n. “Why are the one who gets to make all the decisions, can’t I have a say?” o. “Don’t talk down to me.” p. “I wish you were not so critical of me.” q. “Tell me about your day.” r. “Look what I did for you today.” s. “Stop telling me how to do this.” t. “Did you lock the doors and turn on the alarm?” u. “How much did you spend on this?” v. “My boss is a real jerk.” w. “I wish you would not drink so much.” x. “I don’t feel comfortable with you spending so much time with that person.” y. “I can’t do this without your help.” z. “Do I look fat in this dress?” Have you heard your partner say these things? Could there be an unmet need? |
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| About Karl Elkins Karl Elkins, LPC, ThM, MA, CSC, BCPCC, DAPA has 25 years of counseling experience and is an Adjunct Instructor at College of Biblical Studies teaching Marriage and Family courses. He is Founder and President of Christway Counseling Center P.C. specializing in marriage and family counseling. He earned a Master’s degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and a Master’s degree in Counseling from Colorado Christian University. He was formerly on staff with Intimate Life Ministries and director of a Houston Minirth-Meier New Life Clinic. He is married to Terry Elkins and has two grown children. |
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| Other Upcoming Opportunities Two-Day Marriage Clinic™ The fastest way to marriage harmony! A two-day clinic to learn and experience the 25 Core Relational Life Skills. More Info » Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ Includes all of the topics, instruction, and counseling projects in the Two-Day Marriage Clinic™, but is completely private—you, your partner and the counselor only. More Info » Individual Counseling We offer individual counseling to couples desiring an introductory session or two, follow-up sessions, or focused counseling. More Info » Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group Ongoing accountability group helps you internalize the good practices you’ve learned, avoid returning to bad habits, and develop new marriage-building skills. Next meeting is on June 3. More Info » Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com  |
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