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| In This Issue • Marriage Skill 25: Replace Self-Sufficiency with Humility • Two-Day Marriage Clinic™ • Other Upcoming Opportunities |
| Marriage Skill 25:
Replace Self-Sufficiency with Humility The second of these three barriers to intimacy is self-sufficiency. Self-sufficiency (self-reliance, or denying that we need others to meet our needs), is a barrier to intimacy. A self-sufficient person is one who says “no I don’t have relational needs, but even if I did, I am sure that me and God will take care of it.” We are to become one with our mate (Eph. 5:31), as we remove one another’s aloneness (Gen. 2:18) by loving one another (Jn. 13:34). Since love involves meeting one another’s needs (Eph. 4:29), if a partner will not admit having needs, then it is obviously very hard to meet their needs—preventing intimacy and oneness. Additionally, self-sufficient people are usually poor at meeting other’s needs thinking, if I don’t have needs, then neither should you . . . . If God is all I need, why can’t God be all you need. Satan tempted Eve to deny the existence of her needs and become self-sufficient. When Satan said “God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,” he was tempting her to wrongly believe if I become like God, I would not have to be humbly dependent on Him. Satan tempted Jesus to deny the existence of His needs and become self-sufficient. Satan tempted Jesus to satisfy His own hunger need (and not humbly admit needing outside help) after a 40-day fast by asking him to turn “these stones into bread” (Matt. 4:3). Since Jesus had been “led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil,” He needed to be fully convinced that where God guided He provided. Surely God would not expect Jesus to have to pull off a miracle (self-sufficiently) just to stay alive. Therefore, Jesus needed to humbly depend on Someone, other than Himself, to meet His need. The prodigal son denied the existence of his needs and became self-sufficient. After squandering the trust fund on wine, women, and song he denied his need for help and self-reliantly began to think, I’ll fix this problem all by myself; I’ll get a job (Lu. 15:15, 16). If we deny our need for God and other people, we will become self-sufficiently reliant on our self. We will become increasingly isolated and lonely as we wrongly think we do not need others and that others do not need us. We must become humble and vulnerably acknowledge our need for God and others because—“it is not good the man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). In what ways have you replaced self-sufficiency with humble acknowledgement of your needs?  |
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| About Karl Elkins Karl Elkins, LPC, ThM, MA, CSC, BCPCC, DAPA has 25 years of counseling experience and is an Adjunct Instructor at College of Biblical Studies teaching Marriage and Family courses. He is Founder and President of Christway Counseling Center P.C. specializing in marriage and family counseling. He earned a Master’s degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and a Master’s degree in Counseling from Colorado Christian University. He was formerly on staff with Intimate Life Ministries and director of a Houston Minirth-Meier New Life Clinic. He is married to Terry Elkins and has two grown children. |
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| Other Upcoming Opportunities Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ Includes all of the topics, instruction, and counseling projects in the Two-Day Marriage Clinic™, but is completely private—you, your partner and the counselor only. More Info » Individual Counseling We offer individual counseling to couples desiring an introductory session or two, follow-up sessions, or focused counseling. More Info » Monthly Marriage Enrichment Group Ongoing accountability group helps you internalize the good practices you’ve learned, avoid returning to bad habits, and develop new marriage-building skills. Next meeting is on August 5. More Info » Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com  |
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