In This Issue • Marriage Skill 28: Develop Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage • Two-Day Marriage Clinic™ • Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ |
Marriage Skill 28:
Develop Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage God created us as 3-dimentional beings: body, soul and spirit (1 Thess. 5:23). When God declared that in marriage that the “two should become one” (Gen. 2:24), He meant for us to become one in all three areas. In our culture, the spiritual oneness is often overlooked as unimportant or being too vague to even discuss. For many couples, their individual spiritual life may be maturing, but their spiritual closeness as a couple is lacking. It is quite possible to have a husband and wife who are spiritual giants, but as a couple, they lack spiritual intimacy. Assess your spiritual oneness 1. Is your spouse supportive and encouraging of your personal spiritual growth? 2. Do you regularly practice the spiritual disciplines of confession and forgiveness? 3. Do you often talk about important issues concerning values and beliefs? 4. Do you regularly pray together? Increase spiritual oneness by committing yourself to personal spiritual growth To grow spiritually as a couple, each partner must individually and actively pursue a close relationship with God. To abundantly give acceptance, forgiveness, and comfort to your partner, we must first receive these very things from God. It is hard to give something you have not received from God. Like divine commodities, we are to “freely give” as we have “freely received” (Mat 10:8). Grow spiritually by . . . • Establishing a personal relationship with Christ • Maintaining a daily devotional • Studying, memorizing and meditating on the Bible • Participating in a small group Bible study or discipleship group As a couple, participate in these spiritual exercises: Discuss selected Scriptures together. During breakfast or dinner, when you are riding in the car together, or anytime you have free time, select a Bible verse and talk about it. For example discuss Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you.” Ask each other these questions: What is His kingdom? How do we seek it? What are “these things”? Why does this verse begin with the word “but”? Pray together. If it feels awkward praying together, simply begin by praying silently together. Share some concerns, hold hands, pray silently, and then squeeze hands when you are finished. After you become comfortable praying silently together, try praying aloud. In addition to praying for others and for things, be sure to pray for one another. It will bless your spouse and be a great encouragement to them to hear you praying for their fears, stresses, concerns, needs, and hopes. Maintain two lists: one prayer list is where you record issues, people and needs that you can pray for together. The second list is a journal of gratefulness where you can record answers to prayer, how God is guiding you as a couple and thoughts of gratefulness and praise. Minister together. The key word here is “together.” For you to sit in the choir while your spouse teaches Sunday school is not “together.” You do not have to do everything together but you should do something together as a couple. Lead a Bible study, work in children’s church, participate in a mission trip, visit shut-in’s, but do it together. Engage in various projects that will deepen your spiritual awareness and involvement. Projects might include reading a book, attending a seminar, counseling someone in need, or working on a project that involves meeting interpersonal needs. Spiritual oneness provides a deep and enduring quality that transcends the physical, and psychological aspects of a relationship. Our bodies change and grow old, but our spirits will last forever. The second of these three barriers to intimacy is self-sufficiency. |
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About Karl Elkins Karl Elkins, LPC, ThM, MA, CSC, BCPCC, DAPA has 26 years of counseling experience and is an Adjunct Instructor at College of Biblical Studies teaching Marriage and Family courses. He is Founder and President of Christway Counseling Center P.C. specializing in marriage and family counseling. He earned a Master’s degree in Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and a Master’s degree in Counseling from Colorado Christian University. He was formerly on staff with Intimate Life Ministries and director of a Houston Minirth-Meier New Life Clinic. He is married to Terry Elkins and has two grown children. |
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Three-Day Accelerated Marriage Counseling (AMC)™ Completely private: you, your partner and the counselor only. Includes all of the topics, instruction, and counseling projects in the Two-Day Marriage Clinic™, but is completely private. No group sessions are included. Call to schedule. Contact Information Phone: (832) 358-0900 E-Mail: terry@christwaycounseling.com Web: www.christwaycounseling.com |
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